Academic Discussion
·Animal Testing
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Estimated TOEFL · Writing
Key Takeaway
The response effectively states a position against animal testing but lacks specific examples to support the argument.
Lack of SpecificityCritical
“numerous studies show that various drugs responded differently from the animal testing phase causing major side effects to the users, especially cardiovascular medications.”
Fix·Several studies indicate that drugs, particularly cardiovascular medications, often show different results in humans compared to animal testing, leading to significant side effects.
Vague ElaborationModerate
“Additionally in the past few year, we have seen biotechnological inventions mocking human organism that is serving to numerous ethical trials.”
Fix·Additionally, recent biotechnological advancements have enabled the creation of human organ models, which are used in ethical trials to test drug effects.
“I firmely believe that animal testing is unjustified to give same results for humans.”
This statement clearly establishes the student's position on the topic, which is essential for a coherent argument.
“While I acknowledge Student 1's concern that some research requires living organisms to test drugs, I believe the drawbacks outweigh the benefits.”
Acknowledging opposing views demonstrates critical thinking and adds depth to the argument.
“For example, scientists have succeded ,with cell culture, replicating liver cells to test the effect of new drugs on the human body.”
Providing an example helps to illustrate the point being made, making the argument more convincing.
Vocabulary & Flow
Continue using transitional phrases to enhance the flow of ideas.
Grammar Corrections
1 items foundSpelling error
Suggested Academic Phrases
Improvement Roadmap
Provide more specific examples and data to support claims.
Now: numerous studies show that various drugs responded differently from the animal testing phase causing major side effects to the users, especially cardiovascular medications.
Try: For instance, a study by XYZ found that 60% of cardiovascular drugs tested on animals failed in human trials due to adverse side effects.
Adding specific data can significantly strengthen the argument and improve the score.Correct spelling errors to improve clarity.
Where: introduction
Try: firmely -> firmly
Use varied vocabulary to avoid repetition.
Try: Instead of repeatedly using 'testing,' consider 'experimentation' or 'evaluation.'