Write an Email
·You ordered a birthday gift for your sister that was marked as delivered, but you never received the package. The delivery photo shows an unfamiliar doorstep. You need to resolve this with customer service.
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Email Writing Guide
Professional tone and structure for the Write an Email task
TOEFL Writing Templates
Effective templates and phrases for TOEFL writing
Common Grammar Mistakes
Top grammar errors that hurt your TOEFL score
Estimated TOEFL · Writing
Key Takeaway
The email provides a basic explanation of the issue and a request for resolution, but it suffers from grammatical errors and awkward phrasing that hinder clarity.
Grammatical ErrorsCritical
“I am writting because I ordered a birthday gift for my sister and I did not receive.”
Fix·I am writing to inform you that I ordered a birthday gift for my sister, but I have not received it.
Awkward PhrasingCritical
“However, in the website did I receive and have a delivery photo, but is not my doorstep.”
Fix·However, the website indicates that the package was delivered, and there is a delivery photo, but it is not my doorstep.
“Therefore, I need to resolve this.”
This statement clearly communicates the writer's intention to resolve the issue, which is important for maintaining focus and purpose in the email.
“Thank you for your time and attention.”
Expressing gratitude helps maintain a polite and professional tone, which is crucial for effective communication in formal emails.
“my adress is correct in the website.”
Providing specific information about the correct address helps clarify the situation and supports the claim of misdelivery, which is essential for resolving the issue.
Vocabulary & Flow
Consider using more varied transitional phrases to enhance the flow and coherence of the email.
Grammar Corrections
1 items foundSpelling error
Email Structure
The greeting is polite and appropriately addresses the customer service team.
“Dear support, I am writting because I ordered a birthday gift for my sister and I did not receive. However, in the website did I receive and have a delivery photo, but is not my doorstep. Therefore, I need to resolve this. They can refund me or reshipment, because this error it is not my fault, my adress is correct in the website. Thank you for your time and attention. Best regards Eliana Roratto.”
The opening paragraph clearly states the purpose of the email and provides context about the order.
The body addresses the key requirements but could benefit from more detailed elaboration.
The closing paragraph effectively expresses gratitude and implies a call to action for resolution.
The sign-off is appropriate and maintains a professional tone.
“Best regards”
Suggested Academic Phrases
Improvement Roadmap
Use precise language to describe the issue and resolution request.
Now: However, in the website did I receive and have a delivery photo, but is not my doorstep.
Try: The website shows a delivery confirmation with a photo, but it is not my doorstep.
Improving clarity and precision can significantly enhance the reader's understanding and response.Correct spelling errors to improve professionalism.
Where: opening
Try: writing
Use more varied vocabulary to avoid repetition.
Try: Instead of 'receive', consider using 'obtain' or 'get'.