Write an Email
·Your local gym recently replaced several treadmills with new models. These new machines are difficult to use and often malfunction. You want to address this issue with the gym management.
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Email Writing Guide
Professional tone and structure for the Write an Email task
TOEFL Writing Templates
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Common Grammar Mistakes
Top grammar errors that hurt your TOEFL score
Estimated TOEFL · Writing
Key Takeaway
The email effectively communicates the issues with the new treadmills and maintains a polite tone.
Vague problem descriptionModerate
“Every time I set up the speed it automatically changes back to the default settings.”
Fix·Provide specific examples of how often this occurs or any patterns noticed, such as 'The speed resets to default every 5 minutes, disrupting my workout.'
Lack of specific solution requestModerate
“You may replace them back with the old machines which were working perfect.”
Fix·Instead of suggesting a complete replacement, propose a more feasible solution like 'Could you please have a technician inspect the machines or provide a user guide?'
“First of all, thank you for upgrading your equipment.”
Expressing gratitude helps maintain a polite tone, which is important for effective communication and can positively influence the recipient's response.
“I find it difficult to set up new programs on them.”
Clearly identifying the problem helps the recipient understand the issue quickly, which is crucial for effective problem-solving.
“I am seeking your help to solve this problem.”
Directly requesting assistance shows initiative and encourages the recipient to take action, which is essential for a successful resolution.
Vocabulary & Flow
Continue using transitional phrases to improve the flow of ideas.
Grammar Corrections
1 items foundAdverbs should be used to modify verbs, not adjectives.
Email Structure
The greeting is appropriate and sets a formal tone.
“Dear Sir”
The opening paragraph clearly states the purpose of the email and provides necessary context.
The body addresses all requirements but could benefit from more detailed elaboration.
The closing paragraph includes a call to action and expresses gratitude, which is effective for encouraging a response.
The sign-off is appropriate and maintains a polite tone.
“Sincerely”
Suggested Academic Phrases
Improvement Roadmap
Provide specific examples or details to enhance clarity.
Now: Every time I set up the speed it automatically changes back to the default settings.
Try: The speed resets to default every 5 minutes, disrupting my workout.
Adding specific examples can significantly improve clarity and effectiveness.Use adverbs correctly to modify verbs.
Where: body
Try: working perfectly
Use varied vocabulary to avoid repetition.
Try: Instead of 'problem', use 'issue' or 'difficulty'.