Write an Email
·You have been living in your apartment for three months. Recently, you noticed that the heating system is not working properly, and the temperature in your apartment drops significantly at night. You need to contact your landlord to resolve this issue.
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Estimated TOEFL · Writing
Key Takeaway
The email demonstrates an understanding of the task but suffers from grammatical errors and vague elaboration.
Vague description of the problemModerate
“Recent few days, I have noticed that heating system is not working proerly, espacially during the night.”
Fix·In the past few days, the heating system has been malfunctioning, particularly at night, causing the temperature to drop significantly.
Request for temporary solutions is unclearModerate
“In the menatime I would request you to provide alternative solution such as portable heating system.or any means I can imrpove the situations.”
Fix·In the meantime, could you provide a temporary solution, such as a portable heater, to improve the situation?
“I am writing to inform you about the issue with heating system in my apartment.”
This sentence effectively sets the context and clearly identifies the main issue, which is crucial for the reader to understand the purpose of the email.
“The temperature drops significantly, making the apartment very cold and uncomfortable.”
This description helps the reader understand the severity of the issue and its impact on the writer's comfort, which adds urgency to the request.
“Could you please let me know a specific timeframe when this issue can be fixed?”
Asking for a specific timeline shows a proactive approach and helps in setting clear expectations for resolution.
Vocabulary & Flow
Incorporate more transitional phrases to enhance the flow and coherence of the email.
Grammar Corrections
1 items foundCorrects article usage and spelling errors.
Email Structure
The greeting is polite and appropriate for the context.
“Dear Landlord, I hope you are doing well. I am writing to inform you about the issue with heating system in my apartment. Recent few days, I have noticed that heating system is not working proerly, espacially during the night. The temperature drops significantly, making the apartment very cold and uncomfortable. This situations effect my daily lifes, as it is difficult sleep at night and comfortablly studying or work from home. The cold environment becoming more challenging. I would appreciate if you could arrange for a fiz as soon as possible. Could you please let me know a specific timeframe when this issue can be fixed”
The opening paragraph clearly states the purpose of the email and provides context for the issue.
All requirements are addressed, but some areas lack detail and clarity.
The closing paragraph includes a call to action and expresses gratitude, which is effective in maintaining a polite tone.
The sign-off is appropriate and maintains a professional tone.
“Regards”
Suggested Academic Phrases
Improvement Roadmap
Provide more detailed descriptions of the problem.
Now: Recent few days, I have noticed that heating system is not working proerly, espacially during the night.
Try: In the past few days, the heating system has been malfunctioning, particularly at night, causing the temperature to drop significantly.
Enhancing detail in problem descriptions can significantly improve clarity and reader understanding.Correct spelling errors to improve readability.
Where: body
Try: properly, especially
Use more transitional phrases to improve flow.
Try: Furthermore, consequently, as a result