Write an Email
·You are Alex Chen, a graduate student at Crestwood University. You recently signed a one-year lease for an apartment located at 125 Maple Avenue, and the lease began on September 1st. You are considering adopting a small dog from the local shelter and would like to ensure it's allowed according to the lease agreement. Although the lease doesn't explicitly mention pets, you want to seek permission from your landlord, Mr. Robert Lee, in advance. You have also been attending weekly dog training classes to prepare for your new pet.
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Email Writing Guide
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Common Grammar Mistakes
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Estimated TOEFL · Writing
Key Takeaway
The email lacks clarity and contains numerous grammatical errors, making it difficult to follow.
Lack of clear request for permissionCritical
“I wanted to know that is there any requirements in your company policies about having additional charges or any further requirements to keep these creatures,”
Fix·I would like to know if there are any specific requirements or additional fees related to having a pet in the apartment.
Grammar errors and awkward phrasingCritical
“I hope you are doing well I am Alex Chen I reacently signed one year lease for you appartment.”
Fix·I hope you are doing well. I am Alex Chen, and I recently signed a one-year lease for your apartment.
“I assure you that I will maintain proper cleanliness in the appartment”
This demonstrates responsibility and reassures the landlord, which is important for addressing concerns about pet ownership.
“I pity on such stary animals who dont have any one to take care”
This highlights the writer's compassion, which adds a personal touch and helps explain the motivation for adopting a dog.
“Thank you for cooperation.”
Ending with gratitude is a polite way to conclude the email, which is important for maintaining a respectful tone.
Vocabulary & Flow
Consider using more varied transitional phrases to enhance coherence.
Grammar Corrections
1 items foundSpelling and article usage errors corrected; 'recently' spelling corrected, 'a' added before 'one-year lease', 'your' corrected from 'you'.
Email Structure
Your email is missing a proper greeting. Start with "Dear [Name]," or "Hello," to establish a professional tone.
The purpose is not clearly stated; it should explicitly mention the intention to seek permission for a pet.
The body should include a clear request for permission and more details about the pet adoption.
The closing is polite but could be more specific in requesting a response.
The sign-off name does not match the introduction, which could confuse the recipient.
“Sincerely”
Suggested Academic Phrases
Improvement Roadmap
Clarify the main request early in the email.
Now: I wanted to know that is there any requirements in your company policies about having additional charges or any further requirements to keep these creatures,
Try: I am writing to seek your permission to adopt a small dog and inquire about any related policies or fees.
Improves clarity and ensures the main purpose is understood.Use the landlord's name for a personalized greeting.
Where: greeting
Try: Dear Mr. Robert Lee,
Ensure consistency in the name used throughout the email.
Try: Use 'Alex Chen' consistently in both the introduction and sign-off.