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Write an Email

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You recently purchased a laptop from an online electronics store but received the wrong model. You need to write an email to the customer service department to resolve this issue.

121 words
Submitted: Jun 2, 2026, 09:10 PM

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Estimated TOEFL · Writing

19/ 30
Intermediate
0152230
Rubric3.0/5

Key Takeaway

The email effectively communicates the issue and includes necessary details, but it suffers from grammatical errors and awkward phrasing.

Grammar and syntax errorsCritical

i have recieved

Fix·I have received

Vague elaborationModerate

get the gadet i have purchased

Fix·receive the correct laptop model that I originally ordered

Clear explanation of the issue

explaining the issue with the laptop model received

This effectively addresses the requirement to explain the problem, ensuring the reader understands the main purpose of the email.

Inclusion of original order details

providing details of the original order

Including order details helps the customer service team quickly verify the issue, which is crucial for efficient resolution.

Request for instructions

Request instructions on how to return the incorrect item and receive the correct one

This shows a proactive approach to resolving the issue and ensures that the email fulfills its purpose by seeking a clear next step.

Vocabulary & Flow

Repetitive Words
received2x
obtainedacquired

Grammar Corrections

1 items found
iI

Proper nouns and the pronoun 'I' should always be capitalized.

Email Structure

Greeting

The greeting is present and appropriately sets the tone for a formal email.

exact

Opening Paragraph

The opening paragraph clearly states the issue, providing necessary context for the email.

Body Content

The body addresses all key requirements, but could benefit from more detailed elaboration and improved grammar.

Closing Paragraph

The closing paragraph effectively includes a call to action and expresses gratitude, which is polite and professional.

Sign-off

The sign-off is present and appropriate, maintaining a professional tone.

exact

Suggested Academic Phrases

incorrect modelI would appreciate your prompt assistance

Improvement Roadmap

High Impact

Enhance grammatical accuracy

Now: i have recieved

Try: I have received

Improving grammar will significantly enhance clarity and professionalism, leading to a higher score.
Quick Wins

Use transitional phrases

Where: body

Try: Therefore, I would like to request instructions on how to proceed.

Polish

Vary sentence structure

Try: Instead of repeating similar sentence structures, try combining sentences or using different types of sentences for variety.