Write an Email
·Your local gym recently replaced several treadmills with new models. These new machines are difficult to use and often malfunction. You want to address this issue with the gym management.
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Email Writing Guide
Professional tone and structure for the Write an Email task
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Common Grammar Mistakes
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Estimated TOEFL · Writing
Key Takeaway
The email effectively communicates the main issues but lacks clarity and detail in the elaboration.
Vague description of problemsCritical
“These new machines are difficult to use and often malfunction, so, consequently we have a problem and do not get it finish our exercises.”
Fix·These new machines are difficult to operate due to their complex controls, and they frequently malfunction, which interrupts my workout sessions.
Awkward phrasingModerate
“I really want to get it conclude my walk and run goal exercises routine, because it is very important for my healthy.”
Fix·I am unable to complete my walking and running routines, which are crucial for maintaining my health.
“I am writing to express my disappoint about the news treadmill equipament.”
This sets a clear tone for the email and immediately informs the reader of the issue, which is crucial for effective communication.
“I required that you take some actions in relation to these new machines”
This shows initiative and a proactive approach, which is important in formal complaints as it guides the recipient towards a resolution.
“Thank you for your time and attention.”
Expressing gratitude is a positive way to end a complaint, maintaining a professional tone and encouraging a favorable response.
Vocabulary & Flow
Incorporate more varied linking words such as 'therefore', 'as a result', or 'thus' to enhance coherence.
Grammar Corrections
1 items foundNoun form needed
Email Structure
The greeting is formal and appropriate for the context.
“Dear Management, I am writing to express my disappoint about the news treadmill equipament. These new machines are difficult to use and often malfunction, so, consequently we have a problem and do not get it finish our exercises. I really want to get it conclude my walk and run goal exercises routine, because it is very important for my healthy. As we pay to use the good equipment, I required that you take some actions in relation to these new machines, so that we longer have these boring intervations. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Thank you for your time and attention. Best regards, Eliana Roratto”
The opening paragraph clearly states the purpose of the email, which is to express dissatisfaction with the new equipment.
The body addresses the issues and requests action but lacks detailed explanation of the impact on the workout routine.
The closing includes a call to action and expresses gratitude, which is effective for maintaining a positive tone.
The sign-off is polite and suitable for the formal context.
“Best regards”
Suggested Academic Phrases
Improvement Roadmap
Provide specific examples of how the equipment malfunctions.
Now: These new machines are difficult to use and often malfunction
Try: The machines often stop abruptly during use, and the touchscreens are unresponsive.
Adding specific examples will enhance clarity and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the issues.Correct grammatical errors for clarity.
Where: body
Try: I am writing to express my disappointment about the new treadmill equipment.
Use more varied vocabulary to avoid repetition.
Try: Instead of repeating 'machines', use synonyms like 'equipment' or 'devices'.