Write an Email
·You ordered a birthday gift for your sister that was marked as delivered, but you never received the package. The delivery photo shows an unfamiliar doorstep. You need to resolve this with customer service.
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Email Writing Guide
Professional tone and structure for the Write an Email task
TOEFL Writing Templates
Effective templates and phrases for TOEFL writing
Common Grammar Mistakes
Top grammar errors that hurt your TOEFL score
Estimated TOEFL · Writing
Key Takeaway
The email lacks adequate elaboration and contains numerous grammatical errors, making it difficult to understand.
Lack of detailed order informationCritical
“I ordered an online shirt for sister from your store one week ago.”
Fix·Include specific order details such as the order number and exact date of purchase to help customer service locate the transaction more easily.
Unclear explanation of misdeliveryModerate
“I believe that the parcel has been deliverd in the strret next to me as the owner name is Malik too.”
Fix·Clarify the reasoning by stating, 'I suspect the package was delivered to the wrong address because the delivery photo shows a different doorstep and the name Malik is common in the area.'
“As I can see on my staus that its delivered but the surrounding in the picture is unfamiliar.”
This sentence clearly identifies the main issue, which is crucial for the reader to understand the purpose of the email.
“I request you a refund so I can get a order from new place.”
The email includes a clear request for a refund, which is essential for resolving the issue.
“Regards”
Using a polite closing helps maintain a respectful tone, which is important in formal communication.
Vocabulary & Flow
Grammar Corrections
1 items foundSpelling error
Email Structure
The greeting is present and appropriately addresses the recipient.
“Hello customer service, I am Malik from booling brook Romeoville, I ordered an online shirt for sister from your store one week ago. As I can see on my staus that its delivered but the surrounding in the picture is unfamiliar. I believe that the parcel has been deliverd in the strret next to me as the owner name is Malik too. I request you a refund so I can get a order from new place. Regards shaban”
The opening paragraph introduces the issue but lacks specific details about the order.
The body addresses some requirements but lacks specific order details and a clear explanation of the misdelivery.
The closing includes a request for action but could express gratitude to enhance politeness.
The sign-off is appropriate and maintains a polite tone.
“Regards”
Suggested Academic Phrases
Improvement Roadmap
Provide specific order details to facilitate resolution.
Now: I ordered an online shirt for sister from your store one week ago.
Try: I ordered a blue shirt, order number 12345, on October 1st.
Providing specific details can significantly improve clarity and help customer service resolve the issue efficiently.Correct spelling errors for professionalism.
Where: body
Try: Ensure all words are spelled correctly, such as 'delivered' instead of 'deliverd'.
Use linking words to improve coherence.
Try: Include words like 'however' or 'therefore' to connect ideas smoothly.