Write an Email
·You ordered a set of textbooks titled 'Advanced Business Communication' from BookNook Online Store for your upcoming business communication course. The order was placed on September 20th, and you were informed that the shipment would arrive by September 30th. However, it is now October 10th, and the textbooks have not yet arrived. You need these books urgently as your course begins on October 15th. Contact BookNook's customer service to inquire about the delay.
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Email Writing Guide
Professional tone and structure for the Write an Email task
TOEFL Writing Templates
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Common Grammar Mistakes
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Estimated TOEFL · Writing
Key Takeaway
The email effectively communicates the urgency of the situation and requests information about the shipment.
Grammatical errorsModerate
“every other students received their shipment on time.”
Fix·every other student received their shipment on time.
Article usageModerate
“I ordered Advance Business Communication book”
Fix·I ordered the Advanced Business Communication book
“I ordered Advance Business Communication book from your website on Sep 20, at check out cart it mentioned that parcel will be received by Sep 30 but I am still waiting for it as today its Oct 10.”
This provides a clear context and timeline, which is crucial for the reader to understand the urgency of the situation.
“Because of that I am worried, as my classes will start on Oct 15 and every other students received their shipment on time.”
This effectively communicates the urgency and importance of the issue, which is essential for prompting a quick response.
“I request you to kindly share the tracking number with me or suggest me any alternate solution so I could have my textbook before Oct 15.”
The polite tone and specific request for assistance are likely to encourage a positive response from customer service.
Vocabulary & Flow
Incorporate more transitional phrases to improve flow and coherence.
Grammar Corrections
1 items foundContraction for 'it is' requires an apostrophe.
Email Structure
The greeting is polite and appropriately addresses the recipient.
“Hello Customer Service, I ordered Advance Business Communication book from your website on Sep 20, at check out cart it mentioned that parcel will be received by Sep 30 but I am still waiting for it as today its Oct 10 . Because of that I am worried, as my classes will start on Oct 15 and every other students received their shipment on time. I request you to kindly share the tracking number with me or suggest me any alternate solution so I could have my textbook before Oct 15. I hope that you will consider my request. Regards, Shaban Ahmad”
The opening paragraph clearly states the issue and provides necessary context.
The body addresses all necessary requirements but could benefit from more syntactic variety.
The closing paragraph includes a call to action and expresses hope for consideration, which is polite.
The sign-off is professional and includes the sender's name, which is appropriate.
“Regards”
Suggested Academic Phrases
Improvement Roadmap
Use more varied sentence structures to enhance readability.
Now: I ordered Advance Business Communication book from your website on Sep 20, at check out cart it mentioned that parcel will be received by Sep 30 but I am still waiting for it as today its Oct 10.
Try: I ordered the Advanced Business Communication book from your website on September 20. The checkout cart indicated that the parcel would arrive by September 30. However, as of today, October 10, I have not received it.
Improves syntactic variety and clarity, which can enhance overall readability and coherence.Correct minor grammatical errors for clarity.
Where: body
Try: every other student received their shipment on time.
Incorporate additional linking words for better flow.
Try: Furthermore, I am concerned because my classes start on October 15.