Write an Email
·You signed up for a gym membership three months ago. Due to a change in your work schedule, you can no longer use the gym facilities during their operating hours. You want to cancel your membership.
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Email Writing Guide
Professional tone and structure for the Write an Email task
TOEFL Writing Templates
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Common Grammar Mistakes
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Estimated TOEFL · Writing
Key Takeaway
The email effectively communicates the intent to cancel the membership and requests necessary information, but it suffers from grammatical errors and lacks sophistication in vocabulary and sentence structure.
Spelling errorsModerate
“mebership”
Fix·membership
Lack of detailed inquiry about cancellation procedureModerate
“Therefore I would like to inquire about your cancellation procedures and if there are any fees that need to be given for this kindly let me know.”
Fix·Could you please provide detailed information on the cancellation procedures and any associated fees?
“my work timings have changed from 5:00 pm to 11:00 pm and will remain as such for the upcoming 4 months.”
This provides a clear and valid reason for the cancellation, which is essential for the recipient to understand the request.
“Kindly cooperate and let me know the next step”
Maintaining a polite tone throughout the email helps in creating a positive impression and increases the likelihood of a favorable response.
“I would also like to recieve a written reciept for the end of my membership.”
Requesting written confirmation is a good practice to ensure that the cancellation is documented and acknowledged.
Vocabulary & Flow
Incorporate more linking words to improve the flow and coherence of the email.
Grammar Corrections
1 items foundSpelling error
Email Structure
Your email is missing a proper greeting. Start with "Dear [Name]," or "Hello," to establish a professional tone.
The opening paragraph clearly states the purpose of the email and provides necessary context.
All main requirements are addressed, but more elaboration on the cancellation procedure inquiry would enhance clarity.
The closing paragraph includes a polite request for cooperation and next steps.
The sign-off is appropriate and professional.
“Regards”
Suggested Academic Phrases
Improvement Roadmap
Enhance inquiry details
Now: Therefore I would like to inquire about your cancellation procedures and if there are any fees that need to be given for this kindly let me know.
Try: Could you please provide detailed information on the cancellation procedures and any associated fees?
Providing more detailed inquiries can improve clarity and show thoroughness.Correct spelling errors
Where: body
Try: membership
Use more varied linking words
Try: Additionally, could you inform me about any specific steps I need to follow?