Write an Email
·Your local gym recently replaced several treadmills with new models. These new machines are difficult to use and often malfunction. You want to address this issue with the gym management.
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Email Writing Guide
Professional tone and structure for the Write an Email task
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Effective templates and phrases for TOEFL writing
Common Grammar Mistakes
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Estimated TOEFL · Writing
Key Takeaway
The email effectively communicates the main issues with the new treadmills and includes a polite request for a solution.
Lack of elaborationCritical
“These new machines are difficult to use and often malfunction.”
Fix·Provide specific examples of how the machines are difficult to use, such as unclear instructions or faulty buttons.
Vague impact on routineModerate
“Explain how this affects your workout routine.”
Fix·Detail how the malfunctions disrupt your exercise schedule, such as causing delays or requiring you to adjust your workout plan.
“Your local gym recently replaced several treadmills with new models.”
The professional tone helps establish credibility and respect, which is important for formal communication.
“You want to address this issue with the gym management.”
Clearly stating the purpose of the email helps the reader understand the main concern immediately.
“Request a solution or compensation.”
A clear request at the end ensures that the reader knows what action is expected, which is crucial for effective communication.
Vocabulary & Flow
Incorporate more transitional phrases like 'furthermore' or 'as a result' to enhance coherence.
Grammar Corrections
1 items foundPlural form needed for countable noun.
Email Structure
The greeting is appropriate and sets a respectful tone.
“exact”
The opening paragraph clearly states the issue and provides necessary context.
While the problems are mentioned, the impact on the workout routine lacks detail.
The closing effectively requests action but could benefit from more specific language.
The sign-off is appropriate and maintains a professional tone.
“exact”
Suggested Academic Phrases
Improvement Roadmap
Elaborate on specific issues with examples.
Now: These new machines are difficult to use and often malfunction.
Try: The new machines often freeze mid-workout, and the touchscreens are unresponsive.
Adding specific examples can significantly improve clarity and engagement.Use more varied transitional phrases.
Where: body
Try: Furthermore, these issues have led to increased wait times.
Use synonyms to avoid repetition.
Try: Instead of 'new', consider 'recent' or 'modern'.