Write an Email
·You applied for a merit-based scholarship three weeks ago. The committee was supposed to announce decisions last week, but you have not received any notification. You want to inquire about your application status.
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Email Writing Guide
Professional tone and structure for the Write an Email task
TOEFL Writing Templates
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Common Grammar Mistakes
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Estimated TOEFL · Writing
Key Takeaway
The email effectively communicates the applicant's intent and interest in the scholarship, but it suffers from grammatical errors and lacks some specificity in the request for a timeline.
Grammatical errorsModerate
“I had applied on April 15, and I believe that the decision was to be declared last week which I have not heard about.”
Fix·I applied on April 15, and I believe the decision was supposed to be announced last week, but I have not heard anything yet.
Lack of specificity in timeline inquiryModerate
“Would it be possible for you to look into the timeline for decision to made?”
Fix·Could you please provide an update on when the scholarship decisions will be finalized?
“I am writing to inquire about the merit- based scholarship that I had applied on April 15”
This clearly states the purpose of the email, which helps the reader quickly understand the context and reason for the inquiry.
“As a International Dentist from Nepal, I am interested in this course, since it focuses in oral health of people in rural area.”
This effectively communicates the applicant's interest and relevance to the scholarship, aligning personal background with the scholarship's focus.
“Thank you for your time and consideration.”
Maintaining a polite tone is crucial in formal communication, ensuring the email is received positively by the reader.
Vocabulary & Flow
Incorporate more transitional phrases to enhance the flow and coherence of the email.
Grammar Corrections
1 items foundArticle usage: 'an' is used before words starting with a vowel sound.
Email Structure
The greeting is appropriate and sets a formal tone.
“Dear Committee Member, I hope this email finds you well. I am writing to inquire about the merit”
The opening paragraph clearly states the purpose and provides necessary context.
The body addresses most requirements but lacks specificity in the timeline inquiry.
The closing paragraph includes a call to action and expresses gratitude, which is effective.
The sign-off is appropriate and maintains professionalism.
“Sincerely”
Suggested Academic Phrases
Improvement Roadmap
Enhance the specificity of inquiries to receive clearer responses.
Now: Would it be possible for you to look into the timeline for decision to made?
Try: Could you please provide an update on when the scholarship decisions will be finalized?
Improves clarity and professionalism, leading to a better response.Correct article usage for improved grammatical accuracy.
Where: body
Try: As an International Dentist from Nepal
Use varied transitional phrases to improve flow.
Try: Moreover, Furthermore, In addition