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Academic Discussion

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Studying History

96 words
Submitted: Jun 2, 2026, 04:06 AM

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Estimated TOEFL · Writing

14/ 30
Basic
0152230
Rubric2.0/5

Key Takeaway

The response effectively engages with a peer's argument and presents a relevant perspective on the importance of studying history.

Grammatical ErrorCritical

the wrong made by ancient people

Fix·Correct the phrase to 'the mistakes made by ancient people' to improve grammatical accuracy.

Lack of SpecificityModerate

the wrong decision made by those investors

Fix·Provide specific details about the decisions made by investors during the 2008 economic crisis to strengthen the argument.

Clear Position

Personally, I agree with Student 1's opinion that studying history is essential for understanding current events and making better decisions.

This statement clearly establishes the student's position, which is important for TOEFL scoring as it sets the foundation for the argument.

Use of Example

Take the economic crisis that occurred in 2008, which happened due to the wrong decision made by those investors.

Providing an example helps to illustrate the point being made, which can enhance the persuasiveness of the argument.

Connection to Cultural Understanding

On the other hand, studying history is also crucial for understanding cultural development.

This expands the argument by showing another dimension of the importance of history, which can make the response more comprehensive.

Vocabulary & Flow

Linking Wordsfair
PersonallyTakeOn the other hand

Incorporate more transitional phrases such as 'for instance', 'moreover', and 'consequently' to enhance the flow of the response.

Repetitive Words
history3x
past eventshistorical studieshistorical context

Grammar Corrections

1 items found
the wrong made by ancient peoplethe mistakes made by ancient people

Incorrect noun usage; 'wrong' should be replaced with 'mistakes' to correctly convey the intended meaning.

Suggested Academic Phrases

historical contextFor instance

Improvement Roadmap

High Impact

Provide more specific examples and details to support your arguments.

Now: the wrong decision made by those investors

Try: For example, the 2008 financial crisis was exacerbated by risky mortgage lending practices and inadequate regulatory oversight.

Enhances relevance and elaboration, potentially increasing the score.
Quick Wins

Correct grammatical errors for clarity.

Where: body

Try: Change 'the wrong made by ancient people' to 'the mistakes made by ancient people'.

Polish

Use more varied transitional phrases to improve flow.

Try: Additionally, studying history provides insight into cultural development.