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Academic Discussion

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Preserving Historical Sites

113 words
Submitted: Jun 2, 2026, 07:20 AM

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Estimated TOEFL · Writing

14/ 30
Basic
0152230
Rubric2.0/5

Key Takeaway

The response articulates a clear opinion but lacks depth in supporting arguments and specific examples.

Superficial EngagementCritical

While Student 1 raised some relevant points, I feel that preserving the historical monuments is not the first thing that the government needs to deal with.

Fix·Include a specific point from Student 1's argument and provide a detailed counter-argument.

Lack of Specific ExamplesModerate

First and foremost, annual tax revenue is limited, the government should allocate these resources to the most crucial parts, such as improving public transportation or subsidizing families that have financial problems.

Fix·Provide specific examples of how public transportation improvements or subsidies have benefited communities in the past.

Clear Position

Therefore, these are the reasons why I think the government should not spend significant resources on preserving historical monuments.

Clearly states the student's position, which is essential for a coherent argument.

Acknowledgment of Budget Constraints

First and foremost, annual tax revenue is limited, the government should allocate these resources to the most crucial parts, such as improving public transportation or subsidizing families that have financial problems.

Demonstrates awareness of real-world constraints, adding depth to the argument.

Alternative Solution

They can let the business finish this job, and give certificates to those who put effort into these kinds of activities.

Offers a creative solution, showing the student's ability to think beyond the given problem.

Vocabulary & Flow

Linking Wordsgood
First and foremostOn the other handTherefore

Incorporate more varied transitions to enhance flow.

Repetitive Words
government3x
administrationauthorities
resources2x
fundscapital

Grammar Corrections

1 items found
the government should allocate these resources to the most crucial partsthe government should allocate these resources to the most crucial areas

Word choice; 'areas' is more appropriate than 'parts' in this context.

Suggested Academic Phrases

allocate resources efficientlyconsider the long-term benefits

Improvement Roadmap

High Impact

Incorporate specific examples to strengthen arguments.

Now: First and foremost, annual tax revenue is limited, the government should allocate these resources to the most crucial parts, such as improving public transportation or subsidizing families that have financial problems.

Try: For instance, investing in public transportation in City X led to a 20% increase in commuter efficiency.

Adding concrete examples can significantly enhance the persuasiveness of the argument.
Quick Wins

Use varied vocabulary to avoid repetition.

Where: throughout

Try: Instead of repeating 'government,' use 'administration' or 'authorities.'

Polish

Engage more deeply with classmates' arguments.

Try: Directly quote a specific argument from Student 1 and provide a detailed counterpoint.