Write an Email
·You purchased tickets for a concert three weeks ago. Unfortunately, you have a family emergency and cannot attend the event. The ticket website says tickets are non-refundable, but you want to request an exception given your circumstances.
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Email Writing Guide
Professional tone and structure for the Write an Email task
TOEFL Writing Templates
Effective templates and phrases for TOEFL writing
Common Grammar Mistakes
Top grammar errors that hurt your TOEFL score
Estimated TOEFL · Writing
Key Takeaway
The email provides a clear request and some context for the cancellation, but it suffers from grammatical errors and lacks sophisticated language use.
Lack of supporting documentationModerate
“Attach any supporting documentation if available”
Fix·Include a sentence stating that you have attached a hospital admission note or any relevant document to support your request.
Informal greetingMinor
“dear sir/madam”
Fix·Capitalize the first letter of each word: 'Dear Sir/Madam,' to adhere to formal email conventions.
“As excited as i have been to attend this concert unfortunately i will not be able to do so as my mother has recently been hospitalized .”
This provides a clear and valid reason for the cancellation request, which is essential for persuading the recipient to consider an exception.
“Looking forward to your kindest co-operation”
Maintaining a polite tone helps in creating a positive impression and may increase the likelihood of receiving a favorable response.
“The ticket is for next monday 8th of june 2026 at 7:00 pm.”
Providing specific details about the event helps the recipient quickly identify the transaction and process the request more efficiently.
Vocabulary & Flow
Incorporate more linking words such as 'therefore,' 'however,' or 'furthermore' to enhance the logical flow of the email.
Grammar Corrections
1 items foundProper noun capitalization and redundancy correction
Email Structure
Ensure capitalization for a more formal tone.
“dear sir”
The purpose of the email is clear, but it could be enhanced with a more formal introduction.
Most requirements are addressed, but including supporting documentation would strengthen the request.
The closing is polite and includes a call to action, but could be more specific in expressing gratitude.
The sign-off is appropriate but could be enhanced with a more formal closing.
“Regards”
Suggested Academic Phrases
Improvement Roadmap
Include supporting documentation to strengthen your request.
Now: Attach any supporting documentation if available
Try: I have attached a copy of the hospital admission note for your reference.
Including evidence can significantly increase the persuasiveness of your request.Capitalize the greeting for a more formal tone.
Where: greeting
Try: Dear Sir/Madam,
Use more varied linking words to improve flow.
Try: Although I understand your policy, I hope you can make an exception due to my circumstances.